When anxiety slaps
Day 6 of building in public
Friday was a good day. Landed three net new meetings for fractional. Had my first couple thousand dollars hit the bank account and ultimately ended the week on a solid trajectory.
However, over the weekend, I spent far too much time going back and forth with my buddy Claude on “wedge ideas.” For some reason, I still have a belief that one day I’ll prompt him (her? It?) in just the right way that he gives me certainty of future success and glory. So far, no dice.
So as I sit here on a Sunday night, rain coming down, in the screened porch, candle going, the withdrawals of not having status or a job or a clear path forward hit hard, or like the kids say, ‘it slaps.’
I expected anxiety on the journey, but this is the type of anxiety that makes you rethink your identity and realize that you may not have an identity outside of the job and career you left behind.
I know many people have gone through this on the path but man, being at the beginning of it, I can't wait for the end of it to come.
Grateful I have people in my corner that aren't telling me to turn back because that road might be easier.
I hope I continue to have the strength to move forward.
What I’m starting to realize is that even success pursuing something I’m passionate about won’t heal the wounds of insecurity. Those can only be healed from within.
Maybe that's part of the journey, maybe that's part of the learning, maybe that's the whole point of this.
Thanks for following along.
-Foley